• Home
  • About
    • Work
    • Policy
  • Contact
  • Shop
    • Cart

She Experienced...

A Lifestyle Blog

  • Beauty + Fashion
  • Inspiration
  • Living
  • Wellness
Living, Wellness

10 Things I’m Afraid to Tell You

January 29, 2015

I recently ran across this great blog post chain series entitled, “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You”, and many bloggers were sharing their most vulnerable personal thoughts and feelings with their readers. I thought it was so awesome how transparent they were and thought it would be an awesome idea to start back up again with some of my fellow bloggers, but I put off the idea for weeks and weeks. I was a little hesitant about being that transparent, but then I was reminded why I even started She Experienced… and The Ladies Lounge and just said, “go for it”! This post idea came from here, here and here. These ladies were so transparent, it was inspiring. So I decided to take the plunge. Like I said I teamed up with some fellow bloggers who I will mention and link below who have joined in on this blog post chain, so I’m not taking the plunge alone 🙂

Here we go…..

1. I hate talking on the phone. I get anxious and feel awkward. I don’t know what it is about being on the phone, maybe it’s my introverted nature, but something about being on the phone makes me uncomfortable and feel disingenuous. I can’t see facial expressions, they can’t see mine, they can’t see my hand movements. Ugh! I was never really a phone person growing up either. I was never that teen that ran up the phone bill. I loved letters and emails and still do and when text messaging became “the thing”, that became my form of communication via phone. I often feel bad about this because I don’t talk to friends or family on the phone often. It has nothing to do with them and doesn’t mean I don’t think about them or don’t care to reach out, it’s just that being on the phone really terrifies me. Even when I have something to say, my mind is thinking ahead to when there’s nothing left to say and then the awkward silence or small talk comes. I cringe just thinking about it LOL. I’m crazy, I know and I’ve accepted it. So, any family or friends reading this that thinks, “man, I never talk to Sherelle on the phone” or just wondering why I don’t ever call you.. this is why. It’s not you, it’s me! Honest. 🙂

2. Being a wife terrifies me (sometimes). I’m always wondering whether I’m a good wife and whether or not I’m fulfilling my “wifely” duties to the best of my ability. I also find myself questioning “why me?”, why did God entrust me to be someone’s wife? What’s so great about me? There’s also the pressure for us to have children and that terrifies me as well. I don’t know how to be a mother, let alone a wife. I’m such a perfectionist and didn’t realize how hard I truly am on myself until I got married. I always find myself thinking in the future and how I can improve that I stress myself out and miss out on just enjoying the present moment. My husband always assures me that I’m the best (and only lol) wife he’s ever had – he’s the calm to my storm 🙂

3. I’m secretly envious of extroverts. I’m such an introvert that at times I wish I wasn’t. I’m not great at small talk or thinking/making decisions quickly. It takes me time to process. I’m not spontaneous at all – I need to know details and plan accordingly. I’m always labeled as “quiet”, which I’ve gotten used to, but it still sucks from time to time and makes me question “what’s wrong with me?” I have friends and even my husband who can walk into a group of people and spark up and hold a conversation and just mesh with anyone. Not I! So, as I learn to truly love my introverted nature, I’m still a little envious of you extroverts.

4. I find movies, shows and reports about psycho/sociopathic offenders very interesting. It’s something about psychopathic offenders that intrigue me. Before you judge me, hear me out. I took a psychopathology class in grad school and from that point on have been interested in mental health. I LOVE helping/counseling victims, but I also find it interesting to hear the story, mental health history and any trauma of the offender. I’m interested in learning how their brain works, their triggers, behavior and what treatment is available if any. Some of my favorite shows along these lines include, Killer Kids and Fatal Attraction on Lifetime (and pretty much any killer movie on Lifetime), SVU. I promise I’m not crazy LOL. This is why I don’t say this out loud.

5. I compare myself to others very often. I know they say, “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side”, but that’s not usually what comes to mind first. Whether it’s someone who may be doing what I’d like to do, someone in a similar situation or just someone I admire, I find myself playing the comparison game. It usually doesn’t end with me being the winner because whenever I compare myself to someone else, I’m never good enough. This is definitely something I’m working on, but just one of those things I’m afraid to admit.

6. I still haven’t taken my social work license exam because I’m scared. I graduated with my Masters in Social Work in 2009. It is now 2015, 6 years later and I still don’t have my social work license. I could have had it by now, but the truth is I have been too scared to take the test. I have put it off, applied and set a goal, then put it off again. There have been so many excuses I have used from, needing a break from school/studying, to planning a wedding, to moving, to needing a break. I’ve used every excuse and honestly I’m tired of not being where I should be, or maybe just where I want to be. I think I could be further along in my career or at least doing therapy for psychopathic offenders LOL 🙂

7. I’m always worried about what other people think and most of the time I second guess myself before doing things, wondering how people will perceive me. This is part of my worrisome nature. Probably around 5th or 6th grade is when I can remember worrying about what others thought. This is something that has followed me throughout my life. And although I’m in a much better place today, I still have those thoughts from time to time. I’m working on it and have adopted the motto, “Do something everyday that scares you”, to help me move out of my comfort zone of second guessing and worrying about what others think of me.

8. I really don’t want to be healthy, I just want the results of being healthy. Yeeeaahhh. About that. So I LOVE food! Always have and always will. And not just any type of food. Mostly the stuff that will add on pounds and shorten your life if consumed on a regular basis. My love for food goes deep and it’s so hard for me to be healthy, but I try. I don’t try because I want to be healthy, because I’d rather eat pizza, tacos, ice cream, etc., I try because I need to and want to live a long disease/illness-free life. I want my husband and my future children to live healthy lives as well. So, I strive to be healthy because I need to, not because I want to if that makes sense. I really want a large cheese pizza all to myself!

9. I often try to diagnose myself with a mental illness. Since my psychopathology class, I’ve always felt like I have a mental illness, but don’t quite meet all of the criteria of just one to classify myself. I alternate between an anxiety and mood disorder. Sometimes I feel like I have OCD because I’m obsessed with order and cleanliness and then I feel like I have a general anxiety disorder because I’m always worried about something, or obsessing over something, so maybe that can be OCD too. Idk… *shrugs*

10. I often wonder about what people will remember about me when I die or what type of memories/legacy I will leave. Sometimes I feel like I won’t be remembered for much, but then other times I look back on the memories and moments with family and friends and I have the hope that at least one of the moments or memories will be lasting and for which I will be remembered. In 2014 I lost someone very dear to my heart and to see the impact he made on so many lives from young to old really had me thinking about my life and what I am doing to help and touch others.

*Bonus 11. I’m secretly hoping you don’t think I’m crazy after reading this!!! LOL I’m so serious.

Thanks for reading my things I’m afraid to tell you. I love this challenge of transparency and encourage you if you are a blogger to join in! I want to hear what you’re afraid to tell others 🙂

Until next time…

Screen Shot 2014-10-11 at 1.36.35 PM

 

 

 

 

 

Related

Living Wellness
by Sherelle Gilbert 
7 Comments

About Sherelle Gilbert

Sherelle Gilbert, MSW | Founder & Editor of She Experienced... | Co-Founder of The Ladies Lounge

View all posts by Sherelle Gilbert

Related Posts

  • Updates: Where are we on this journey?
  • Why I’ve let go of shame
  • This isn’t what I prayed for
  • Infertility: The Saline Ultrasound Appointment
previous article: Review: The Ladies Lounge Premier Event
next article: Big Girls DO Cry

Comments

  1. Anonymous says: January 29, 2015 at 6:55 pm

    Sherelle.. I understand. LOL I want to be OCD soooo bad but I know I don’t quite qualify! I can relate to a lot of yours. & Don’t worry.. I’m sure you will be remembered for the many, many great things you have done & will do. & for laughing.. at everything. LOL

    Reply
  2. Danny says: January 29, 2015 at 6:56 pm

    Sherelle.. I understand. LOL I want to be OCD soooo bad but I know I don’t quite qualify! I can relate to a lot of yours. & Don’t worry.. I’m sure you will be remembered for the many, many great things you have done & will do. & for laughing.. at everything. LOL

    Reply
    • Sherelle Gilbert says: January 29, 2015 at 6:59 pm

      LOL thanks Dannykins 🙂

      Reply
  3. Marquitta says: January 29, 2015 at 9:17 pm

    Omgosh. I completely agree with the phone thing. I HAAAATE talking on the phone and I think my family wants to disown me because i don’t call them. I’m sure they think I don’t love them because I don’t call. I too am and introvert and I HHHHHAAAAAAAAATE small talk and that’s what talking on the phone is for me unless we plan to talk for hours about something deeper. I’m not afraid to tell people that, but I am afraid that my friends and family don’t believe me when I tell them that! LOL! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    Reply
    • Sherelle Gilbert says: January 29, 2015 at 9:18 pm

      Yesssss Quitta!!!!! You feel me!!!!!

      Reply
  4. Lisa Pearlman says: February 3, 2015 at 12:36 am

    I totally agree with you about the phone phobia…although I’m told I sound confident & calm on the phone, my mind is usually racing, I worry about awkward silences, I feel uncomfortable & often ignore my phone to let voicemail pick up. I feel better texting & emailing, being much more comfortable with the written word.
    I also am extremely anxious person & OCD. Meditation helps as does writing (or typing these days). And I love reading about serial killers, psychopaths etc. I have B.A. in Psychology and used to counsel male inmates in prison. I loved it! I put off getting a masters or ph.d and now at 45, I know that ship has sailed. Lol!
    Thanks for sharing Sherelle!!
    Love & Light

    Reply
    • Sherelle Gilbert says: February 3, 2015 at 5:53 am

      Lisa it sounds like we are so much alike!!! Thank you for sharing with me!! You’re awesome 🙂

      Reply

What do you think? Cancel reply

About

Welcome to She Experienced, my lifestyle blog where I share all my experiences from beauty to mental health and everything in between! Grab a chai latte and stay a while :)

The Ladies Lounge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bGajBzzyRc

Search

Archives

Be Social

Get the “She Inspires” Weekly Devotional!

Sign up for my inspirational weekly devotional today!

*No SPAM

Categories

Beauty + Fashion

Inspiration

Living

Wellness

Recent Posts

  • Updates: Where are we on this journey?
    Infertility, Inspiration, Marriage, Women's Issues
  • Why I’ve let go of shame
    Infertility, Inspiration, Marriage, Women's Issues
  • This isn’t what I prayed for
    Infertility, Inspiration, Marriage, Women's Issues

She Apparel

  • "she is progress" graphic shirt $25.00
  • "she is worthy" graphic shirt $25.00
  • "she prays" graphic shirt $25.00
  • "she" graphic shirt $25.00

Shop Target

Loving the Skin I’m In..

Recent Posts

  • Updates: Where are we on this journey?
    Infertility, Inspiration, Marriage, Women's Issues
  • Why I’ve let go of shame
    Infertility, Inspiration, Marriage, Women's Issues
  • This isn’t what I prayed for
    Infertility, Inspiration, Marriage, Women's Issues

Subscribe to “She News…”

Sign up for all the latest "She News..."! Be the first to know about new products in 'She Apparel', discounts, new blog posts and much more!

*No SPAM

  • It may not seem like it while you are waiting, but the waiting season is a blessing. It is a period of preparation for something that’s exceedingly abundantly above all you can ask or think! Try to think of your waiting season as a blessing and you will soon see why it was so worth it 💛
•
•
•

#sheexperienced #she #sheinspires #crazyfaith #babyfaith #faithjourney #faith #shehasfaith #infertility #infertilityjourney #infertilitywarrior #infertilitycommunity #infertilityadvocate #ttc #ttccommunity #startingivf infertilitysupport #ttcsupport #hydrosalpinx #salpingectomy #infertile #endometriosis #laparoscopy #hysteroscopy #fibroids #ovariancysts #livewell #lifestyle #christian #blogger #writer
  • So excited about @flawlessnaturalsoap! I was blessed with the opportunity to test out some of her products before their release and fell in love with the liquid black soap and, most recently, the lavender charcoal bar soap. Both products are great for acne, dark marks, and inflammation, three things that I’ve struggled with for a while. It wasn’t until my endometriosis diagnosis that I realized the reason for my hormonal acne. Flawless skin care has been a big help and what I love is that unlike other products I use, these are safe to use while pregnant and/or trying to get pregnant! I’ll be sharing some before and after pics soon. If you’re looking for all natural soaps, check out @flawlessnaturalsoap 💛
•
•
•
#sheexperienced #she #sheinspires #inspiration #skincare #naturalskincare #naturalsoaps #hormonalacne #hormonalacnesolution #endometriosis #infertility #lifestyle #livewell #blogger
  • “I chose to allow my heart to accept whatever the outcome instead of worrying and telling God what I didn’t want to happen. Sometimes we can get so stuck in what we want or don’t want that our hearts become closed and unaccepting of the will of God. Throughout this whole journey, I had become so accustomed to saying what I didn’t want to happen that each time God allowed that very thing to happen. This time I wanted to do something differently, so I stopped saying “I don’t want…” and started saying “help me to accept…”
•
•
•
New blog post with an update on our infertility journey. Read more (link in bio). Get ready because this is about to be what I talk about the most. It’s my current experience and God has asked me to speak on it, all of it. I’m in a place of obedience and faith. If my story helps you in any way, I praise God. If it’s too much for you, I understand. Feel free to unfollow, I promise you I won’t even notice. I (am learning to) praise God for this struggle, it’s the hardest yet, but I see Him working and moving in so many ways that I have no choice but to honor Him with my obedience 💛
•
•
•
📸: @loudlexx 
#sheexperienced #she #sheinspires #infertility #infertilityawareness #infertilitywarrior #infertilitysucks #infertilitysupport #ttc #ttccommunity #ttcjourney #lifestyle #blogger #livewell #represent
  • Sometimes when we focus on the problem, we forget what God has promised us. On this road of infertility there are so many bumps, hurdles, and even road blocks along the way. It’s just a roller coaster of emotions and there have been days when I hit a low point. One thing that keeps me grounded is remembering what God has promised me and holding onto it for dear life. Whatever problem I face along the way, I remind God of what He told me (as if He forgets lol) and then I tell Him He’s got to help me see it through.
•
•
•
It’s not easy and you will want to give up because you can’t see the promise beyond the problem, but if you spend precious time with Him and practice meditating on His word (whatever He has promised) daily, it will make that problem seem smaller, you will gain a peace you can’t explain and you will have the strength to endure.
•
•
•
#sheexperienced #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #infertilityjourney #infertilitywarrior #infertilitysupport #ivfjourney #ivfcommunity #ivfsupport #infertilitycommunity #ttc #ttccommunity #ttcjourney #ttcsupport #women #empower #livewell #lifestyle #blogger #christian #sheinspires #inspiration #inspire
  • s h e  a p p a r e l  c y b e r  m o n d a y  s a l e
•
•
•
Every woman has a story to share and what better way to show your faith and your deliverance than wearing it proudly?!
•
•
•
Take advantage of this cyber Monday sale! If you haven’t gotten your “she” shirt, now is the time!! You can get your “she” shirt (t-shirts only) through tomorrow with the code CYBERMONDAY at checkout! •
•
•
#sheexperienced #she #sheapparel #inspiration #graphicshirts #inspirationalshirts #christianclothing #christianclothingline #lifestyle #livewell #blogger #christian #womensclothing
  • So hard to do, but so necessary 💯🙏🏽💛
•
•
•
#sheexperienced #she #sheinspires #inspiration #inspire #infertility #infertilitysucks #infertilityawareness #livewell #lifestyle #christian #blogger #repost from @mrandmrsmenopause
  • ... he got my back like chiroprac 🧡
•
•
•
#thisisus #mondayfunday #blacklove #fall #fallphotoshoot #sheexperienced #she #newhairwhodis #thecutlife #bobhaircut #livewell #lifestyle #blogger
  • Just as God assigns gifts to each of us, He also has certain tests and trials that He allows to come our way to build and prune certain areas of our heart and overall character. When you are faced with one of those character-building tests, there will be times when it just doesn’t make sense, any of it. You have in your mind an idea of how you want things to play out, you even have come up with your own ways to “help” you through your test. But in the end, it’s ultimately God’s plans that will prevail.
•
I’m learning that it’s so important to give FULL control over to God. You may think you’ve given Him control, but He’s all knowing and He sees that area you’re still holding onto. He wants it. All of it. Some tests aren’t designed for you to provide the answers, some tests are designed for you to just sit and allow the answers to be given to you. That can be sooo hard for those of us who are natural born fixers, those of us who are advocates, and those of us who don’t like to wait for anything. God knows this about us, it’s no surprise to Him. But what He wants us to learn is that there’s a time to fix and a time to do nothing. There’s a time to advocate and a time to keep quiet. There’s a time to go get it and a time to wait.
•
Listen intently to the voice of the Lord. Be patient. Be faithful. Give yourself grace. If God is asking for it, whatever IT is, give it to Him - all of it. It will all be worth it in the end and you will have an amazing testimony to share 💛
•
•
•
#sheexperienced #she #sheinspires #inspiration #sabbath #rest #dayofrest #faith #infertility #infertilitywarrior #infertilitysucks #peace #grace #love #livewell #lifestyle #christian #blogger #encourageyourself

Follow Me @sheexperienced

Copyright © 2019 · Prima Donna theme by Georgia Lou Studios

Copyright © 2019 · Prima Donna on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in